Money is a powerful resource. We strive to acquire it. We’re told we cannot survive without it. It represents power, security and happiness. It buys experiences and objects of desire. No matter how non-materialistic we may strive (or claim) to be, in the end, much of our life revolves around the making of money and the spending of money. Certainly, we expend tremendous mental and emotional energy thinking about it.
But money is also a mirror. Our relationship with it tells us what we value, as well as what we believe – about ourselves and about how the world operates.
Chequebook, chequebook on the wall A hard, cold look at how and where we spend our money can show us – often in a painfully clear light – whether what we say and what we do are really aligned. This, of course, is one of the chief reasons that so many people strenuously resist examining their monetary habits.
Sit down with your chequebook stub, credit card and bank statements and look at them as an objective outsider might. Imagine you are trying to piece together an image of this ‘mystery person’ based on their expenses and buying habits.
Seen in this light, what do your purchases and expenses say about you? What values, priorities, habits and desires does each item represent? Consider not just objects and expenses (clothes, food, rent), but the quality, nature and possible meaning of those objects and expenses. Are the clothes pricey designer items? Are they bargain-basement specials bought several at a time? How much of the food is fast-food and snacks? How much is organic groceries? How much is elegant meals out? Do the rent/mortgage and car payments seem in proportion to this person’s income? How much investment is this person making in their health and well-being?
Initially, you just want to gaze into the surface of this cheque book mirror, and see the story as a stranger or private investigator might. What kind of person is this, and what life choices are they making? Are there places they spend a lot of money, or places they spend virtually none?
Next, look deeper into the mirror. This time, access your personal, intimate knowledge of your expenses, and characterise them according to their deeper meaning:
Ask yourself some tough questions. Why do you spend money the way you do? What were the reasons behind these individual purchases? How do you feel about them now? Which make you happy and which do you regret? How much money is spent in the service of your own highest choices, and how much is spent because you’re ‘expected’ to have or do certain things?
Look for derailments. How much of your income goes to ‘time saving’ services and conveniences, the expenses which require you to work longer hours? How much is being spent as compensation or substitution for some bigger life wish or goal you are not fulfilling? How much is consolation or ‘reward’ for work, relationship and life choices that are not in themselves very satisfying? If your bank statement reveals a lot of purchases made for the sake of superficial satisfaction, distraction or anesthesia, take note.
Look for discrepancies. Can you find any areas where your purchases seem self-sabotaging or contradictory? For example, are you buying loads of supplements and wellness products but also eating a lot of fast food and buying virtually no healthy groceries? Are you buying a lot of sports equipment but never working out? Do your expenses reveal a lot of attention to your body (beauty treatments, clothing), but relatively little to your mind (books, seminars, continuing education)?
Last but not least you need to ask yourself if you’re living within your means. If not, don’t assume the only answer is for you to slash all your expenses to the bone and move into a cardboard box. But do ask yourself which of your expenses are currently returning an appropriate value. Take a good, honest look at how many of your expenditures have integrity, and which do not.
Remember that ultimately the relationship you have with yourself is the foundation on which both your financial and emotional wellbeing rely. If you like yourself, are proud of how you move through the world, and occupy your body with gusto, your financial statements will reflect this with balanced, high-integrity expenditures and a strong bottom line. If you have an ambivalent relationship with yourself, are dissatisfied and frequently ‘go unconscious’ to escape your reality, your bank balance will reflect that too.
Your bank statement shows more than how much money you have available – it also shows what you value about yourself. If you would like to see a better bottom line, practise seeing greater value in who you are. You might find yourself comfortably surprised!
Money is a powerful resource. We strive to acquire it. We’re told we cannot survive without it. It represents power, security and happiness. It buys experiences and objects of desire. No matter how non-materialistic we may strive (or claim) to be, in the end, much of our life revolves around the making of money and the spending of money. Certainly, we expend tremendous mental and emotional energy thinking about it.
